Socialist Corn vs. Imperialist Corn

It has come to the attention of many that there are quite a number of differences between the production of corn in capitalist countries vs the production of corn in socialist countries. In this piece we will analyze the differences and come to a logical, evidence-based conclusion.

Imperialist Corn
If you’ve ever tasted the pure bourgeois-ness of imperialist corn you’ll know right away that it was made through months of extremely harsh and exploitative conditions. The tears and blood sweat of the workers poor into the chemical composure of the corn and ruin it’s naturally delicious flavor.

Imperialist corn is also fragile and weak in comparison to socialist corn. If we take a look at the conditions required to grow imperialist corn it needs a very specific temperature, soil mixture, geography, etc. and can only grow at certain times of the year. Thus we can conclude that imperialist corn is naturally weak and cannot stand up to harsh conditions like good socialist corn. In this aspect, imperialist corn is like little defenseless baby.

We also have to examine the physical appearance of the imperialist corn to access it ease of consumption. If you leave your house right now and go to the nearest corn crop, if there are even good crops left considering the fragile nature of imperialist corn, and pick up any piece of corn then you’ll notice how repulsive it is. It is bulky, poorly grown, a sickly looking shade of yellow and is nearly indistinguishable from the fecal matter form of the imperialist corn. In other words — it’s shit.

The imperialist corn is the most exploitative and disgusting race of corn on the planet. It promotes greed, violence, senseless competition, and hatred. If only, there was another form of corn, a more people-friendly, cooperative and democratic form of corn that could take its place. Let us imagine for a change, an association of free corn, with the means of photosynthesis held in common.

Socialist Corn
Fortunately, this free corn is not some made of idealistic anarchist-like utopian dream. It is the immortal dialectical scientific Marxist-Cornist reality. For once in the history of earth there has been a society with production of perfect socialist paradise corn. Strong corn, Tasty corn, and well shaped corn — this is the corn of the inevitable communist future — no longer will people have to suffer under the lie of imperialist corn.

In the glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, our glorious immortal leader Kim Jong-Un has guided the working class of the scientific community at perfecting the art of corn and this goal has been achieved.

Socialist corn can grow in any condition at any time of the year. It is resistant to cold and hot temperatures that imperialist corn can simply not even fathom growing in. This is strong corn, unlike the weak corn of the imperialist aggressors.

It’s taste is superb and some sources even claim that this superior socialist corn eliminates hunger for 10 years once eaten and even gives its consumer mystical socialist powers like being able to destroy capitalism just by looking uttering mere Lenin or Stalin quotes. More powers include the powers to materialize turnips from thin air, and the power to collectivize everything — including your neighbors toothbrushes and socks. While on the contrary, imperialist corn just produces sickness and doesn’t make you full. You remain hungry no matter how much imperialist corn you eat and it is designed this way so you buy more and have to fork over more of your money to the capitalist pigs.

Capitalist corn, like capitalism itself, may sound and look good and theory and paper, but once actually experienced, leaves a nasty stain on whoever dared to try.

Socialist corn easily triumphs the corn of the imperialists in every single aspect.

“They talk about the failure of socialist corn, but where is the success of capitalist corn in restaurants like Applebees, Chilis, and Outback Steakhouse?” -The socialist cornlord


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